I’ve ‘known’ for a long time that I’ve gotten a little over-committed. It often seems like I spend a large portion of my time building other people’s dreams, often operating in non-core modes while doing so. The fact that I haven’t done anything about the situation has had sort of a positive feedback effect, in terms of stress level.
I’ve made these kinds of changes before. Years ago I stopped using MUDs, for instance. But such low-hanging fruit got taken long ago. What is left are those things that have some fairly deep personal significance, and those which support some larger community.
Which raises the whole self versus community issue. (To an extent I already did this in with Knecht.) Surely the community would be more important as a higher form of organization. But a community is formed of individuals, and how can it thrive unless the individuals thrive? It is in some sense a false dichotomy. If we assume that a person always acts in his own self interest, then my continued participation in these various communities is proof enough that these things are important to me.
A few weeks ago, I was to leave for a trip at godawful-early, so I went bed rather early. to try and get some kind of sleep. I don’t think I got any actual sleep, but the rest probably did me some good. I spent a fair part of the night thinking the above thoughts, and it finally clicked: I’ve got to make some changes, and it’s come to shooting babies.
Pretty much everything is being effect to one level or another. I’ve stopped the harp lessons: for the level of practice I’m getting now, three hours of practice or reflection will probably do more for me than two hours of driving and one of instruction. I’ve stopped getting vegetables in produce deliveries; cooking takes time, and I’d gotten into a mentality of ‘disposing’ of things before the next shipment came; not a healthy relationship with food for many reasons. Board game design, languishing for months now, will not be subject of conscious effort for some time. (i.e., ‘I should do this now’; the ‘I shoulds’ are what is getting me down.) I’m also going to see about re-arranging my martial arts responsibilities to be more in line with my talents, so that it can energize me instead of draining me.